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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Snarky Social Media Yearbook, 2016

by Steven S. Vrooman

I tweeted all of this on #socialmediayearbook2016, but just in case you prefer your snark in blog form, here you go. And in lo-fi text version instead of embedded tweets, this blog post will be nice and small on the bandwidth so you can stop hogging the Internet, making your son lag so munch on Halo 5 that you mess up his ability to get to Platinum. True story.

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Twitter: ads, spam, bots, Trump, trolls, bots, bots, bots, bots, bots, bots, bots, bots.....

Facebook: Where America gets fake news, now with added millenials!

Instagram: Slowly consuming the souls of other platforms #burp

Snapchat: Camera roll hack-apps are still considered cheating, barely.

LinkedIn: You can't just *assert* you are a "thought leader," bro.

Periscope: Cuz if you were really a thought leader you'd'a been on this last year.

Pinterest: Still where people outsource their femininity or masculinity.

Tumblr: Keeping Rule 34 alive.

Cord: #crickets

ello: #hipstercrickets

Vine: Hey, I remember this app! Maybe I sh-----------.

Untappd: Social media's future -- micro-networks based on interest.

MySpace: Is this thing on?
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There you go. 

Pithy and perhaps not as accurate as it might be, but as various gurus share their social media predictions for 2017 (the reading of which prompted me to think these thoughts), this is my only solid prediction. As Snapchat and Facebook and Twitter fight to be king of the hill of the pile of macro networks, many of us find ourselves checking micro networks more and more. Subreddits, things like Untappd, Tumblr for many (even as it grows in scope), even Pokemon once they inevitably let you chat with people who are defending the same gym as you (I can feel your judgment. It's for science), these will be the places you go with more and more regularity. Those who find the right clusters of affinity groups will succeed. And given that the demographics of affinity groups are easier to figure out, packaging that and selling it to advertisers will be a powerful move. 

I think. We'll see what I think about this prediction in next year's Social Media Yearbook.

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